“Not exactly, sweetie” I reply

“Mommy, you were a princess?” she asks?

What I am thinking is if you want to call a snarky workaholic, who managed to get hitched twice in her twenties, a princess be my guest.  Fortunately, she is only interested in the immediate  context of this photograph. She recognizes mommy and daddy.

Because of this photograph, for the first time in  my entire life ,I am being referred to as a princess.  She’s marvelling at the aesthetic and this “cleaning up” of the human form for your wedding day, the only association she can make is that of “princess.”  I have never wanted to be called a princess. Nor have I ever lived my life with “royal expectations” but if she sees me as a princess then here is my chance.

This picture can take her beyond the “happily ever after” and directly into the example that her mother, her parents, have set for her.

Being a questioned by a toddler means answering the same question multiple times in row.

“Mommy, you were a princess?”

“Yes, sweetie.”

On top of all these benefits is that Couscous can also be used cold much in the way of pasta salad. This recipe for Mediterranean Couscous Salad can be whipped up in 15 minutes and will be just as good cold the next day.

You will need:

1 box of Near East Couscous (I prefer the plain variety)

1 Tomato seeded and diced

1/2 Medium Red Onion diced

1/8 cup of Feta cheese

2 tablespoons of Extra Virgin Olive Oil

1 teaspoon of Red Wine Vinegar (these are to personal taste)

Salt and pepper

1/4 teaspoon basil and oregano

* Don’t be afraid to get creative with this dish and add other salad favorites like olives or arugula leaves.

Prepare the Couscous according to the instructions on the box and leave it to cool off while the other ingredients are being prepped. Dice the tomato and onion. In a medium bowl add the tomato, onion, cheese, oil, vinegar, salt and pepper. (Loose baby spinach leaves work well here too). Stir gently to combine. Add 1 1/2 cups of the Couscous. Stir again and transfer to a serving bowl (if desired).  Save the rest for kiddies who may not like the flavor profile here.

Remember, the next time you come home from work and you want a fast cooking starchy side dish: when in doubt, make Couscous.

Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate a nice card but it’s not necessary. My daughter made me a little gift in school and it’s the most perfect and appropriate gesture.

Restaurants and spas have become the go-to sources for Mother’s day celebrations in an attempt to offer rest.  I may not turn down a trip to either of these any other day of the week but on Mother’s day it’s a little contrived.

I’m not speaking for everyone but if you really want to give mom a break on mother’s day, consider spending the day doing everything that she does. All the little things that miraculously “get done” around your house, from laundry to toilet cleaning,  is not the work of elves.  Ask her for a list of things that she would like done. I don’t mean chore coupons. I mean get that list and get to work.  Consider giving Mom the gift of time; the time to let her go and do something on her own, of her choosing, while everything else accomplished.

Even if this means she is just sitting on the couch; it could be a magical treat.

It always contains:

I imagine I will have an emergency bag for a while. In my experience where there is a child there should be a change of clothes, hand sanitizer, and snacks.

Cleverly, these moments always happen during my moments of doubt. Is this the universe telling me not to give up?

For an English teacher, these are the moments we live for. The one student who doesn’t just get it–who embraces it–is a moment I collect.

And so, for the student who has ever told me that I made them want to be a teacher. For the student who loved my class and continued to read after taking it. For the student who asked me what I am teaching next semester, I extend a heartfelt thanks. Because you have helped me just as much, if not more.

6. Summer school at home. Look for local learning opportunities such as museums, library activities, and “field trips.” Plan “lessons” for your children. Make it challenging by covering a different subject each time. Consider: Language Arts, Math, Science, Foreign Languages, Art, History, etc.  This can be anything from music in the park (or watching a musical) to a local historical site.

Use summer as an opportunity to enrich learning experiences and share time together.

The other day, I just finished teaching a class. I walked outside into the spring air and bump into two older women falling over each other as they pointed and laughed at something ahead of them.

“Oh my God! I just couldn’t” says one woman, wiping her running mascara off her cheeks. “I thought she was naked!”

That’s when I focused in on the bottom half of a young, female student. “Is she naked?” I quickly thought. After a double take, I couldn’t help but laugh too. The girl was wearing kahki colored skinny jeans. So tight, there was nothing for the imagination. So tight, that from a distance she looked as if she forgot to put on her pants. In fact, she could have painted herself tan from the waist down and no one would be the wiser.

I’m no fashionista but I am pretty sure naked pants are a “don’t.”

Last summer I prepped for an epic potty training adventure that I was sure I could do before my daughter began nursery school but we never got the hang of it.

She didn’t like the potty. She didn’t like sitting on the potty for long periods of time. We couldn’t make the connection between using a pull up and going to the potty.

I put away the potty training books like “Potty Training Bootcamp!” for another time and waited out the storm.

I kept the potties out. I began open discussions about using the potty and my daughter even began to protest more intensely by stating “I’m not ready!”

I offered earrings as a reward for potty training efforts, pointing out that going to the potty is a big girl thing and big girls wear earrings. She said, “No thanks.”

It wasn’t until I began to appeal to her baby side that we made a little progress. I downloaded a potty training app that teaches sign language for potty training signals. Having been a natural with Baby Signs, she picked this up immediately.

She can even recite the process of using the potty. Potty, wipe, flush, wash with the signals. She walks me through it when I use “the potty.”  And we talk about all the fun types of underwear she can get.

But I suspect a confidence issue similar to when she learned to walk.

She didn’t walk independently until she was 14 months. She held the tip of my pinky from 7-14 months and cruised when that wasn’t available. She practiced squatting, which I thought was odd, until I realized she was working on getting up and down.

The day she starting walking on her own she began running.

So part of my potty training failure is not properly instilling confidence. To fix this, I have been making a point of showing my daughter a “potty” where ever we go. I make sure she comes to the restroom with me.

Sure it seems obvious to us, but how would a toddler know that there is always a potty to use? Now she asks to see every bathroom. I hope by the summer we are actually using them.

This learning experience has made me alter my plan of potty attack and revise “my gear.”

We have 3 potties, a baby bjorn, a safety first, and Elmo.  Similar to when I wanted to train her to nap anywhere, I want her to be comfortable with any available potty. Therefore, toilet seat covers and hand sanitizer and a new must have in the “diaper” bag.

Also, I bought the fanciest toilet seat we have ever owned. It has a mini seat built it. In other words, there is a magnetic potty seat that attaches to the lid when not in use. AMAZING!

Comfort is important to me. I potty trained late in childhood. I was three. I was one of those kids who had a setback due to major shift in family. I was potty trained and then my grandfather died. So the entire household shifted as my mother worked more and I was in the care of my grandmother and aunts. Who put my (15 year old hand me down potty) in a utility closet next to the cat’s litter box.

My other option was a toilet topped potty seat. It was a…wait for it…a giant swan. I had to mount the swan and hang onto its neck for security, oh, and let’s not forget pee at the same time.

I remember this vividly as well as the pressure to use the potty. It wasn’t until I wanted to be like the other kids in my preschool that I gave up diapers, put on a pair of underwear, and never looked back. And, according to my mom, I never had a accident.

Despite what so many parenting books tell me about getting a kid potty trained before 18 months, I only have my experience to go on. I have to recognize the needs of my child. And she has always observed. Even with people, she is not one to rush in. She bides her time.

To that end, I am now training with “potty talk.” Potty discussion is part of our everyday dialogue. We watch potty videos. We sing potty songs. We talk underwear, rewards, and I tell her in May we are going to wear big girl underwear. It’s even circled on the calendar.

I am skipping the pull ups (too close to diapers), taking advantage of the warm weather and diving  directly into underwear all within the safety of spending a few solid weeks at home peppered with short manageable trips that will inevitably include a visit to the potty. Take two.

I am an advocate for a “good children’s shoes” Good shoes does  not necessarily have to cost a lot but it should benefit your child’s foot.

If your child has overlapping toes observe if their toes overlap when barefoot a shoes with generous toe space is in order. If the toes lie flat without shoes, I recommend opting for a wide width shoe or going up a half size in their shoes. If they do not, go to a pediatric podiatrist.  A Chiropractor can even help to diagnose the issue by checking your child’s posture and stance.

Here a few options:

1. Smartfit by Payless these shoes run from $12.99-23.99. You can find them on sale and take advantage of BOGO offers. Smartfit makes all the necessary shoes from dress shoes and sneakers to sandals. They are designed to be generous in the toe area.

I usually buy Smartfit dress shoes because how often does my toddler actually wear dress shoes? Three times a year on average. I also buy Smartfit sneakers for school because shoes take a beating on the playground.

2. Buster Brown at Famous Footwear $29.99 + (but they are always on sale). Yes, they still make these and you can find them moderately priced at Famous Footwear. The bottom of the shoe is diagrammed to help parents find the correct shoe size. The “toe zone” area indicates that this is where the toes should be. If toes are above the toe zone, the shoe is too small. If toes are below the toe zone, the shoes are too big.

My daughter had a pair of  Buster Brown sandals last summer. They were great. The only problem was they create stinky piggies.

3. Polliwalks  $35.00. They are like Crocs in that they are water resistant clogs. But they are much cuter and character shaped. We have been through two pairs of Elmo Polliwalks. They are anti-microbial and well ventilated. Piggies stay clean, happy, and comfortable.

4. Stride Rite ($39.00 +) Good shoes and a good place to have your child’s shoes size measured. The shoes are divided by age groups (as most shoes are for kids).

My we had a pair of Stride Rite Oxfords that were adorable and held up for months. I don’t recommend the Twinkle Toes series because many of the sneakers are difficult to get on.  The tongue of the sneaker has elastic straps that are sewn into the shoes and they don’t seem to stretch enough. I felt like I was jamming my daughters foot into the sneaker. My favorite part of Stride Rite are the outlet stores that offer the same sizing services and a wide variety of footwear at a fraction of the price.

5. Pediped‘s come in as the most expensive on my list. Toddler shoes begin around $47.00 and some go up to $59.00.  However, the shoes are not only divided into categories based on age group but also the development of walking from infant shoes called Originals to Grip and Go for early walkers and Flex for children with a confident stride.  These shoes “go on and stay on” which is a big deal if your kid likes to remove shoes or if you have a baby who can kick a shoe off before you get the other one on.  Pediped’s are sold in many stores but usually it’s only the baby shoes. The website does have a store locator and sizing information in case you want to buy online.  And they offer information about pediatric podiatry.

I definitely recommend their sale section.  We are about to embark on our 3rd pair of Pediped’s for the summer, particularly in something that is water resistant and machine washable.

Remember, a good shoe may just be a shoe that gives your child’s foot extra wiggle room. Kids outgrow shoes like crazy; there is no way to know how long a pair may fit.  Smart shopping for quality shoes is definitely an art of parenting.