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Parenting for the Skeptical Woman:What I Didn’t Know About Newborns

The baby cycle in my life is starting up again. Not for me but I seem to know many women who are expecting a baby or preparing to take the step to having a baby.  Thinking about this process reminds me of how much I learned, how much I didn’t know, and how much I will never know.

No matter how difficult it may seem to have a newborn, enjoy it. That little pooping, swaddled bundle may seem demanding now but wait until he or she can move. For me, I started worrying what it would be like to have Scarlett home while I was getting her dressed for the first time. After two days of having a baby nurse to dress her and bath her, one hour before leaving the hospital,  I have to dress a newborn for the first time ever.

The first thing I didn’t know, babies have no control over their arms and legs. I knew that swaddling helped them feel more secure and womb-like but I had no idea how much they wiggled and jerked. So on top of the bobble head, no neck control, watch the head pressure their arms and legs move uncontrollably.

The good side to this is that if you can keep them swaddled (which I couldn’t) you can keep the baby calm. If a baby is swaddled then they are less likely to  wiggle and wake themselves up when they sleep.

Newborns wiggle all of the time.They don’t care if you are trying to bathe them, feed them,  wipe poop off their butts. Babies gain motor coordination from the head down.

The second thing I didn’t know was that newborns fucking freak out when they pee or poop. What takes a newborn from peaceful to frantic in a nanosecond? A bowel movement.

The third area of ignorance for me was the assumption that baby girls can’t send their urine and excrement flying around the way newborn boys can. The first night home from the hospital, I was changing Scarlett’s diaper at 3am when she started to poop on the changing table. She then unleashed a fart that popped the cork on a tidal wave of poop that shot, two feet, over the changing table, headed directly for my closet door, and missed landing in my Kate Spade purse that was hanging on the door knob.

But that’s what newborns do. They eat and send it out the other end. That’s normal. Never in your life will normal seem so strange. You will have discussions with everyone about peeing and pooping. You have in-depth analytical debates over the consistency and frequency of the poop.

Many doctors will tell you not to take the baby out during the first four weeks. If you think  this seems like a prison sentence ask yourself if you are prepared for cleaning up the poop in public?Scarlett pooped at each of her first four trips to the grocery store.Your newborn will burp and fart and relieve themselves  like a frat boy on a drinking binge and not care about the company he or she keeps. Get used to it.

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Thinking About Getting Pregnant? This Is My Story

I wrote this in August of 2009 but I didn’t have the guts to post it until after the birth of my daughter is 2010. This goes out to anyone who is expecting, trying, considering, preventing, parenting. This is my story about preparing and it seems like an absolute lifetime ago. Read more of this post

Breaking The Rules

Cinderella (1950) Poster
I have come to realize that as a parent, I will make rules, and not follow them.

Recently, my mother came to visit and brought with her Lady and The Tramp. Within weeks, she expanded my daughters movie collection to The Aristocats, and against my better judgement, Cinderella.

My rule, is no Disney Channel no Disney Princesses. Cinderella just screwed that rule. So what did I do? I revised my rule. As any new parent must.
First, if this is the bond that Grandmother and only grandchild will share, so be it.
Secondly, my mother does not want to see her granddaughter grow into a giant, Disney brainwashed brat either–a result that falls entirely on the parent.  I am still totally fearful of the message all this princess epidemic sends. However, it is my responsibility to police it.
My new rule is no princess gear. We will not be creating a princess themed bedroom. We will not have a princess on all clothing.
A movie is one thing, product is quite another.
What changed my rule? Telling a two year old little girl, dancing around the living room in a tutu while chanting “I’m a princess!” that she can’t watch Cinderella. I just couldn’t do it.

My essential rule:  Be willing to bend the rules… within reason.

If you liked this, check out my book: http://theskepticalwoman.com/2013/01/11/pregnancy-for-the-skeptical-woman-the-blog-and-the-book/

The Toddler Diaper Bag

At what point do you stop using a diaper bag? I haven’t but my diaper bag has changed roles over the last 2 years from the bag that has stayed by my side no matter what to the emergency bag with a small “mobile” unit.

Toddlers are messy. They spill, they pee, and in my opinion an emergency supply bag is required until they are about 6 years old. Today, this is what you will find in my diaper bag:

1. Diapers (I’m working on this one).

2. Baby wipes.*

3. A full change of clothes including socks.

4. Non perishable snacks and a juice box*

5. A Take and Toss sippy cup and lid plus an extra cup (the extra cup can also serve as a snack cup).

6. A small bag with crayons and a post-its for coloring.*

7.  A toy.

8. First aid including Tylenol.

9. A binky*

10.  A disposable bib*

11. Toddler fork and spoon.

This bag moves from my house to the car. It usually stays in the car when we are out for the day because it contains a “mobile unit”

The Mobile Unit*:

This is a one gallon zip lock back containing the following.

1. A diaper and all purpose wipes

2. The binky

3. The disposable bib

5. Snack and Juicebox.

6. The crayons.

7. A bandaid

The zip lock bag can be replaced when it gets shoddy and slips easily into my purse or under the stroller. It’s enough to take care of a wet diaper or dining out. Larger emergencies require a trip back to the car. For the record, I have never used a changing pad. As the child gets older, replace the diapers with underwear, always keep a few toys and snacks, even the wipes. I did this with my stepchildren and it was a lifesaver.

Pregnancy For The Skeptical Woman: The Blog and The Book

Five years into this blog and it has certainly changed shape along the way. It has made me a better, more self aware writer. The worst of these times are  most difficult times when my self awareness  inadvertently focuses on others but were it not for blogging I don’t know when I would have figured that out and how to avoid it. Everything is a journey and a process. Everyday is a learning experience. I’m a learner. As a learner, I make mistakes before I learn. Isn’t that what being human is all about?

Having a baby is one of the longest roads I have ever traveled and I’m nowhere near the end. When I first started this blog, Two Man Minimum, I used it as a spring-board to reflect on my life as I moved forward. There’s nothing wrong with looking back but after I got pregnant I realized that there was much more to look forward to. Pregnancy For The Skeptical Woman was a weekly post as I embarked on the road to motherhood filled with questions and trepidation.

Pregnancy For The Skeptical Woman, the book took shape towards the end of my pregnancy I isolated those posts and began reflecting on everything I thought I knew and added everything I learned on the way. I’m not an expert. That’s the point. I’m a regular person with penchant for making educated decisions. As the readership of my blog grows, I always like to take a moment to put my book out there again, you never know who it may help, and reflect on this “hobby” and the only form of journal I have ever kept. I like what it has become, I like that it always changing.

Today, I learn the ropes of parenting a toddler on a daily basis. I look forward to sharing these adventures.

As of today, Pregnancy For The Skeptical Woman is available for Kindle. The hardcopy will be available within the coming year in tandem with Parenthood For The Skeptical Woman:The Toddler Years.

The Only: A Case For One Child

When I was first pregnant, I planned for one baby. All I ever wanted was a little girl. I know it sounds bad. But I was an only little girl. That’s what I know. I was raised an only child. The story being much more complicated than that but the point is I have fond memories of being included in things that you may not be able to do with more than one child for many reasons. Expensive dinners, trips to the theater, private schools, museums, private piano lessons. There were other times, when I found myself lonely and longing for someone to play with. Of course, I didn’t live in a neighborhood that lent itself to playing outside and there was only 1 other child in my neighborhood.

When I planned to have a baby, I initially thought that I would have more than one to break that “only child” stigma– A play-mate. A built in buddy. Isn’t that what siblings are? As I get older, as Scarlett gets older and  truly is attached to her dad and I,  is a second child is really worth it?

There were many times in my life when I was hit with the only child generalizations. In high school a history teacher said, “we all know about only children and how messed up they turn out.” I, being an “only” was brave enough to raise my hand and say, “Excuse me Sister, (Catholic school–not being brazen) I am an only child and I think I turned out very well.”  I was always a little more mature, a little more articulate, and clever.  I found friends, (many of them only children as well but not all) who shared these traits.  I am not saying siblings are not as bright or well spoken. In fact, I always dreamed of and longed for a sibling.  When I had Scarlett my fear was that she too would long for someone to play with.

Why do people have more than one child? Is it just so your current baby will have a playmate,  Is this  a legitimate reason. I ran down the list possible justifications: playmate, the possibility of having a boy, I want a second baby (pregnancy, sleepless nights, teething).  I had to ask myself, do I really want a second baby? I understand 2 kids is the social norm, again, not a good enough reason. If a little girl is what I wanted, I got lucky the first time. Why tempt fate? Finally, I was not  a fan of being pregnant.

Moreover, I had to make great sacrifices to have just one. I gave up my job. When I did return to work, my mom came 1700 miles to babysit. Granted, I got to spend 15 months at home with my daughter. If I had another, I would not be able to make this sacrifice a second time. Also, if I had a sibling, my mother would be dividing her time and not be able to do something as self-less as move away from my father for 5 months to help me. That’s a big deal.

I grappled. I thought of everyone I know who grew up, everyday,  with siblings. I was looking for that sibling-best friend connection to justify having a second baby which I think I may have romanticized. But my search fell short, sibling buddies being the exception and not the norm. Then, I considered every “only child” I know and discovered that most of them are very  close to their parents. This being the norm with a few minor exceptions.

I turned to an expert. One of my oldest and dearest friends who, with his spouse, decided to be “one and done.” His reasons were:

1. Kids are expensive. If you win the lottery and don’t have to worry about college. Great.  Have ten. But don’t you want to give one child the best life possible?

2. Sleep.

3. Only children are closer to their parents.

4. Only children are more articulate. They do more with their parents and learn more this way.

5. There is no guarantee your kids will be best friends. Most siblings are not.

6. When you have more than one kid, you spend less time together as a family. Parents divide the kids and go off to little league, the supermarket. No one is together. This also suggests that maybe parents have multiple kids to avoid having to deal with each other as a couple.

7. Don’t you want to spend time together as a couple? An “only” allows for this more (see item #6).

8. Only children seem to truly value the friendships they have and keep friends longer.

These reasons opened my eyes to what is really important. I left our conversation so grateful for the wisdom of his parenting.

What would I rather have? Two children whom we shuffle through to adulthood with the hope that I have helped  foster a sibling relationship that will bond them together for life? According to Wendy Widom, “Why Having an Only Child Rocks,” ” the bottom line is this: I can’t produce another person just to give my kid a companion, someone she may or may not get along with now or decades from now when I’m lying on my deathbed. And I can’t do it because other people think I should.” (Huffington Post).  It begs the question, do I focus my attention on our  little family, “my only” and make us as tight knit as possible?

I truly enjoy every moment I spend with my daughter. I give her my undivided attention. As it is now, I can listen to everything she says. I can truly be present for all of her milestones without having to care for another baby. I can balance my professional and personal life to make sure I attend all of her special events and school functions. I will be at every sporting event without having to divide my time. This is of top-notch importance to me. I love her watch her grow and learn. As corny as it may sound, I don’t want to miss any of it. I don’t like the idea of having to divide my time or attention with another child who, as an infant will undoubtedly, need me more.

Granted, “my only” is the youngest of my husband’s children. The age differences of at least a decade places Scarlett in her own category. Of course, she will have a bond with his older kids but we are a blended family, our lives are made of acknowledging differences and respecting them. Her experiences will be different from that of her siblings. It is okay to know that and say it. I am not singling her out. She is close to her siblings but as they grow up, she may see them less. They will be in adulthood while she is still a young child.  Moreover, Scarlett is my only. I am her mother, not her step mother. There is no “stepping back” with her. She is my sole financial responsibility. If I make this decision, she will be my “only child.” She will be our “only child.”  The characteristics of her “only child-ness” will be a little different but the lack of an additional sibling will set her apart. Not to mention, it provides us with more opportunities to expose her to new things.  To share in her life and really be present in her experiences. I don’t want to smother her. I want to give her every opportunity I can.

I realize that admitting to only wanting one child is almost offensive to some people. It can be a shock. To that I say why? Give me a reason to have a second. Give me a reason that doesn’t make the youngest child seem superfluous? An accessory?  I am intrigued. I wish I could wrap my mind around the justification of having another but the “only” in me keeps coming back to “just one.”

Pregnancy For The Skeptical Woman: The Blog, The Book, The Story

Five years into this blog and it has certainly changed shape along the way. It has made me a better, more self aware writer. The worst of these times are  most difficult times when my self awareness  inadvertently focuses on others but were it not for blogging I don’t know when I would have figured that out and how to avoid it. Everything is a journey and a process. Everyday is a learning experience. I’m a learner. As a learner, I make mistakes before I learn. Isn’t that what being human is all about?

Having a baby is one of the longest roads I have ever traveled and I’m nowhere near the end. When I first started this blog, Two Man Minimum, I used it as a spring-board to reflect on my life as I moved forward. There’s nothing wrong with looking back but after I got pregnant I realized that there was much more to look forward to. Pregnancy For The Skeptical Woman was a weekly post as I embarked on the road to motherhood filled with questions and trepidation.

Pregnancy For The Skeptical Woman, the book took shape towards the end of my pregnancy I isolated those posts and began reflecting on everything I thought I knew and added everything I learned on the way. I’m not an expert. That’s the point. I’m a regular person with penchant for making educated decisions. As the readership of my blog grows, I always like to take a moment to put my book out there again, you never know who it may help, and reflect on this “hobby” and the only form of journal I have ever kept. I like what it has become, I like that it always changing.

Today, I learn the ropes of parenting a toddler on a daily basis. I look forward to sharing these adventures.

As of today, Pregnancy For The Skeptical Woman is available for Kindle. The hardcopy will be available within the coming year in tandem with Parenthood For The Skeptical Woman:The Toddler Years.

What No One Told Me About Having A Baby

In a few weeks my sister will give birth to her first child. I can’t wait to be an aunt and for Scarlett to meet her cousin and built in buddy. Being around a pregnant woman and listening to the doctor visit stories and the uncertainties has brought back so many memories that originally vanished in a sleep deprived haze.

The following list are things that I didn’t expect. Caution: this is not some teary, love filled list. This is stuff I really, really, wish I could have known.

1. A contraction feels like someone is squeezing your entire giant stomach as hard as they can.

2. Your hip bones may actually ache for weeks after you deliver. Sure, you talk about “dropping” and dilating but it’s all because you are going to pass a seemingly large object out of seemingly small passage. Bones are going to move. They will have to move back. It’s going to hurt. It’s going to be ugly, and it’s going to take a while to recover.

3. The doctor will tell you six weeks of no sex. Feel free to go longer. Nothing puts you off sex more than shooting a human being out of your nether-regions. But that’s just my opinion.

4. A few days after giving birth, as your hormones kick in while you are sleep deprived. You may have a total meltdown. It’s normal, roll with it. Ask for help.

5. Do not take full responsibility of putting this baby to sleep every-night. Split this responsibility with the dad, your mom, or whoever offers you help. Ask for help!

I find myself repeatedly saying, “no one told me.”  She must think I am a broken record. I guess it’s better than being a know it all. I went into pregnancy as a total know nothing. I came out of it with my own experience. I think that’s why mom’s really like to talk about when they were pregnant because each story is so different. It’s important to share. You never know who is looking for answers or support.

If you liked this, check out my book: http://www.amazon.com/Pregnancy-Skeptical-Woman-ebook/dp/B0055E6ZAU

On The Business of Being Born: If You Are Pregnant, Read With Caution

One night as my daughter threw me a bone and fell asleep early, I decided to treat myself to a peaceful evening of Netflix where I came across The Business Of Being Born. There is nothing like a birth documentary after a full day of work and parenting.

From executive producer, Ricki Lake, comes this candid look at  childbirth in the United States and the grim reality that it is a very dangerous game. This film traces the process of birth from the turn of the century to present day to show how birthing has moved from homes to hospitals; from midwives to doctors. Moreover, from something the body does naturally to a completely invasive, corporate driven procedure made lethal by health insurance companies who deem midwives as hacks and have resorted to putting American women in danger to keep premiums low.

How are they in danger? Well, as the documentary will tell you, watch TLC. Watch A Baby Story.  In short, a woman is pregnant, her “due date” (which is just a suggestion anyway, really) comes and goes. She gets induced. She arrives at the maternity ward and is relegated to a bed, strapped to a fetal monitor, and IV.  She is administered Cervidil then Pitocen and waits. Next comes the epidural and catheter. The woman, still getting pumped full of Pitocen which creates contractions stronger than natural ones, becomes alarmed when the baby suddenly goes into distress. The doctor swoops in to do an “emergency C-section” and saves the day.

The reality is that if the woman had never been induced then the drugs would never have caused stress to the fetus, who would not have been put into distress, and a c-section probably could have been avoided.

Now, this woman will come to learn that most hospitals do not insure doctors to perform VBAC’s (Vaginal Birth After Cesarean) so she will face major surgery and added risks with each additional child she chooses to have.

In short, premature medical intervention is a lethal risk to pregnant women and infants across this country.  Unfortunately, as the number of birthing centers and midwives dwindle, options are scarce. In some states women choose to give birth at home. I’m not really a fan of this method. Frankly, that is the absolute last thing I would ever want to clean up.

That being said, this documentary resonated with me because  I realized I had a totally invasive birth and one that scared the hell out of me. In fact, the documentary made me realize things that never even crossed my mind before this night on the couch (but I’ll get to that).

I was induced. I was admitted to the hospital 9 days past my “due date.” I was not dilated, I was not effaced. Basically, she was not ready to come out. It’s no surprise the medical staff could barely insert Cervidil because they couldn’t reach the cervix as it was too high. (Again, not ready). Within 45 minutes of the medication being forced in, I was having major contractions that were compressing the placenta to the point where the baby’s heartbeat was lost on the fetal monitor. Unfortunately, I can only recall this partially because of a cocktail of Valium and Ambien to help me “rest.”  I remember hearing the alarm of the monitor and fighting to open my eyes and stay conscious to  see what was going on. I remember repeating “something’s wrong”  until my husband said, “No, if it were doctor’s would be coming in.” And with that, a team rushed in to remove the Cervidil.

That should have been hint #1. Then I was put on Pitocen for the next 18 hours. I recieved an epidural and catheter at hour 4. By the time I delivered, my baby had been under the stress of Pitocen induced contractions for over 18 hours. And I’m lucky. My doctor was not quick to perform a C-Section despite the fact that her shift was ending and it took me 19 hours to dilate.

Furthermore, I was not allowed to stand, walk, use the restroom, or move for that matter. My experience is really typical of most births.

But as I watched this documentary the reality of the risk that I put my daughter in hit me. The baby who was sleeping soundly in her bedroom was compressed by earth shattering contractions. These things come fast and furiously without any peaks and valleys. It’s just peak after peak.  She was exposed to drugs, antibiotics, hormones, and then delivered horizontally to make the experience even more challenging.

So after watching this film, I am horrified. I shouldn’t be. It should not be a shock but it is. It’s after the fact, but better late than never. It made me question every decision I ever made about giving birth. But what did I know? I, like most American women, am obsessed with the fear of feeling pain. But no pregnant woman ever died giving birth because of the pain. In fact, the pain releases the hormones that help you bond with your baby. I have to wonder if there is a link between induced births with pain intervention and post-partum depression?

Finally, as I get older and the introduction of a second baby calls to me from the future, how do I repeat the process the same way knowing what I now  know? Maybe the first time I was deliberately unaware. I knew the birthing system in the U.S. was a mess. All of my original ideas about birth and labor and fear have been disrupted. Now, I look at my baby and know I put her in deliberate danger. That bothers me, and I can’t shake it.

To close, watch the documentary. You need to know.

If you liked this, check out my book: http://www.amazon.com/Pregnancy-Skeptical-Woman-ebook/dp/B0055E6ZAU

Plugging The Book

Having a baby is one of the longest roads I have ever travelled and I’m nowhere near the end. When I first started this blog, Two Man Minimum, I used it as a spring-board to reflect on my life as I moved forward. There’s nothing wrong with looking back but after I got pregnant I realized that there was much more to look forward to. Pregnancy For The Skeptical Woman was a weekly post as I embarked on the road to motherhood filled with questions and trepidation.

Pregnancy For The Skeptical Woman, the book took shape towards the end of my pregnancy I isolated those posts and began reflecting on everything I thought I knew and added everything I learned on the way. I’m not an expert. That’s the point. I’m a regular person with penchant for making educated decisions.

As a writer and an educator, I am aware at the dying animal that is the Publishing industry. Gone are the high paying advances and the glamour. It’s quickly becoming a shoddy game that’s resistant to technology. With that in mind, and the reminder that Huckleberry Finn was self-published, I pursued the independent route.

As of today, Pregnancy For The Skeptical Woman is available for Kindle. The hardcopy will be available by the fall. The Nook version will come soon but Kindle is much more accessible with the apps available across numerous platforms.

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